Some of the Things I Need to Say

Some of the things I need to say, and the ways in which I wish to say them…

In words and art and action, I send myself into the world, all the while receiving it back. This is Full-Duplex living; an ongoing process of back-and-forth, a multi-media educational experience with a monthly (and hefty) subscription fee. I’m very often in arrears.

Take a look at my screen (already aging):


Pardon my French, but what the hell.

This is the two-way window I choose to use to make sense of my world. Things spill off the edges and onto a desktop, in a constant state of rearrangement – folders stuffed into folders of things I hope to get to later. I didn’t bother capturing those – the desktop goes on forever, in every direction. There’s not enough coffee in the world the fuel even the most cursory exploration of this ever-expanding space. Maybe I have the wrong drink.

Why am I here? It’s the most well-worn question we have, I’ll wager. Technology, is seems, has done nothing to bring us any closer to the answer, but we can share the screenshots with each other as we try, with great expediency!

This screenshot represents a single human mind trying to hold itself to one task, while being pulled in every other direction. Do I learn more before I speak? Do I inquire more before I act? I emote and express and produce, in an effort to filter and curate these countless things I’m on the hook to understand better, so next time it might all go a bit more smoothly.

Two-eyed seeing.

A new Editor to help me level up my layout.

Settings that await changing.

Hidden items at the fringes, to be revisited, someday.

The book in front of me (not pictured), temporarily abandoned mid-chapter to make time for emails in need of reading and writing.

This post.

TOREADs, helpfully pushed aside, perhaps indefinitely.

Videos, Books, and Companies.

Things and People to LinkInto.

A snapshot of a mind struggling with its own I/O responsibilities ^^^

Who is waiting for me to say what? What is waiting for me to learn how? How does any of this stuff matter more than anything else?

Maybe I should just be out in nature, breathing air, pumping blood, and feeling like a proper animal, properly unconcerned with things that have nothing whatsoever immediate to do with simply making it through another day.

There must be an app for this. Something to help make decisions about which of all of the important things are the most important of all. A problem of timing, and priorities, and decisions.

Do you recall those Choose Your Own Adventure games of recent yore? What kind of lessons did that format mean to impart? The choice of which door to take – the North one or the East one? The decision of whether to drink the potion, or apply it to your sword, or leave it where you found it? The option to trust the traveling merchant, or to say a quick farewell, and then be on your way?

Every choice leads to a new page, and then leaves some others to go unread.

Don’t get me wrong, I signed up for this ride (here comes the Metaphor Mixing again), and I’m seeing it through. Whether I’ll have the option to get back in line and try again – and whether I’ll have enough tokens to do so (and the interest in even spending them) – remains to be seen, on some other side.

For now, I’m still learning to ride the ride.

– Mike, on one-too-many coffees!

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